Be warned that what follows is a rant; it's selfish and whiney and you proceed at your own risk. I'm really stressed out, emotions thin at leaving a place I've been for 3 years and not getting very much sleep. So I'm not feeling very gracious today.
Yesterday and today, my bell group from the Indianapolis area traveled down to Southern Indiana & Louisville for a 3-concert tour. I'm from that area of course, and another girl who's been with the group longer also is from down there (we rang bells together in high school). We did a concert Friday night, one this afternoon, and one this evening at 6pm. First one was in Floyds Knobs, 2nd in New Albany, and 3rd was in Louisville. Playing was really fun. I enjoyed being around my group and playing my last 3 concerts with them before moving to NC. I do this because I enjoy it, but also because I'm under some delusion that our performances are entertaining for people. Let me say first off that I'm fully aware that bells are about as cool as marching band (right, Carrie?). I personally like both, but I know that not everyone does. But [and I wouldn't normally say this] we are good at what we do. This is not your grandma's church choir; the reason I drive an hour each way to rehearsal is that there aren't a lot of groups who are at this level. And we don't just play hymns or dirges or something, we played jazz tonight, popular oldies, classical, a popular vocal song. Ahem, so anyway this has been planned for months. Months ago I sent messages to people I knew in the area telling them to mark their calendars. I talked to my church pastor and the announcement was in our bulletin for 2 weeks. We made events on facebook and invited everyone we know in the area. I was excited for people down there to see what I've been doing up here. We stuffed mailers to every area church, and we had a small blurb in the 'events' page of the Louisville newspaper. And it's summer, people are on vacations and stuff, but how many people that I knew came to those concerts? Well my mom & dad came to two of them. My best friend's family (my 2nd family) came to one, and my best friend and her husband came to one. One friend came by at the last minute I think who ran into us at lunch. So basically 5 people besides my family cared enough to plan to go to this free entertainment that my group & I put on. Each according to what worked into their schedule, but it was nice having all 3 of those options! How many people from my home church came to one of these, of the people who have known me since I was born and many of whom are starting to try to ring in a chime group there? Zero is how many. Some of them don't get out at night; luckily, our concert *in* New Albany was in the afternoon. Of friends of mine who played in bell groups *with* me for years and who have known me since I was 5, or 12, or whatever, zero of them came. And I guess this is sad to me for multiple reasons. One is that no one came out to cheer me on, see what I do, or support me. The other is that no one came just because it might be *enjoyable*! Yes, I guess I did choose the wrong musical avocation, should have gone with rock & roll, because I can tell you that something else there is zero of is hot guys at or in bell concerts, haha!! Did I mention these concerts were free? I know, it's not everyone's "thing." As for the people who have played and listened to bells for years or who are getting started with it at church, yeah I don't get that, but do you really think that if one of these people's choir, or garage band, or *chess team* came from two hours away to the town where I live that I would *actually* miss it if I were in town and not on the floor throwing up or something? It would be in my calendar, and I would go, even if I was in the middle of a really gripping video game or something :-p. So if you're not going to go, just tell me you're not going to go. Don't say to me this very week "I'm going to try to go". Is your schedule that unpredictable all of a sudden?
So I guess it really is more fun to play than to listen to. My sister said I shouldn't take it personally, that if 5 people came to my birthday party or something I should be worried, but not this. And I was like you know what? I care about this more than if I had a birthday party or something. Because I spent hours preparing for this, driving to rehearsals, and working hard to get better at it. Lol I should have taken up guitar, because rockers don't have to pull teeth to get old friends to come to their concerts. They've got friends coming out of the woodwork looking for backstage passes. I do understand how dumb and selfish this is, but it's not like I thought everyone I've ever met would show up, just a few more than what did. On a positive note everyone in my group was very pleased with the overall attendance and thought that the trip was definitely worthwhile and fun. I even agree with that! I just wish that I wasn't friends with such lame-os. I guess that I should not spend so much time on bells in NC and take up a new hobby that is more cool, or else just stick to performing in retirement homes. I definitely don't feel the need to give the CD that we made as Christmas presents - I guess that isn't as special as I thought. Because while there are people who do enjoy this kind of thing, those aren't people I know.